Saturday, 27 December 2014

In loving memory

My Gran passed away peacefully this morning.

I did not visit perhaps as much as I should, and that's because some part of me wanted to remember her as she was, but I took mum there yesterday to say our goodbyes, and now she's at peace, because she wouldn't have wanted what happened, she would rather have gone years ago than have things prolonged as they were.

Dementia takes things from you, your life, memories and worse, others memories of you, because while I still remember my gran and I remember Sheffield Fish Market on the Friday and Meat and Potato pies and walking the dogs with her, I'll always remember that she deserved more than to end up in a bed with no memories of what she'd done in her life and all the people she'd made a difference to.

So if, years from now, something like that should happen to me, take this to the doctors and tell them there not to keep me going. That I want life for as long as I live every day, but when the day comes that the spark of me is gone and my body lives on, no more, no more say I, I want people to remember the man I am and all those things I did in life when I lived, let my legacy be all those things I did well, with all my many faults and all those things I didn't do so well, but undaunted and every day doing something to make the world a better place.

And so tonight and every day hence, I will remember my gran, not as she died, but as she lived.