Sunday, 18 May 2014

Day 138 - Mobile phones should come with Taser options - Required 379500, Achieved 377123

So, back at work today, things have not changed there, but if I have learned a single thing, it is that I prefer being on the phone end of the breakdown to the breakdown end of the breakdown.  That said, for all my increased empathy, I also find myself less in empathy with the ones who call up and the call goes like this...

"I'm broken down."
"Alright, where are you?"
"I'm here."
"A little more specific please?"
"I'm on a road, there's nothing nearby."
"Alright, we'll come back to that, which vehicle are you broken down in?"
"This one."
"A little more specific please?"
"It's a truck."
"Alright, we'll come back to that, what's happened to the truck you're in?"
"It's broken down, are you stupid or something, I just said that...."

I believe, I believe in my heart that mobile phones should come with a boot option, whereby the phone can be compelled to extend taser needles into the hand of the idiot carrying it and deliver shocks that correspond in intensity to the stupidity of the comments being made.  In the event of Cab phones, the jolt should be delivered squarely to the posterior....

In this way, much gnashing might be prevented...

But I digress, if there were not people like this, I would be in different employment...

And cheerfully, some things I write faster than others, so the word count is up again...

This is John Dodd in the Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire and Goodnight England, Wherever you are...

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