Friday 3 April 2020

Corona's Virus Adventurers Guild Daily Briefing - Of politicians and politics...


Morning Everyone,

Whole lot of you been wondering what happened the last two days, and I have to tell you, first day was April fools, and I have to say, there’s enough fools out there for all of us, didn’t want anyone thinking this was one more. The second day, well, that’s why I’m here today.

I had to attend a city council meeting yesterday, and it took most of the day.  A lot of you are wondering why it takes so long to do these meetings, and here’s where I’m going to share a few things with you.  The city council is made up of people who may once have been just like you and me, but somewhere along the way, they got some power and they wanted to keep it. There’s a whole lot of interests going on in any council meeting, not all of which are lined up with what’s best for the people.

The people, that’d be you and me, not them…

After about eight hours of listening to people argue about why we couldn’t do anything because it got in the way of something that was important to them personally, my natural diplomacy failed, and I cleared my throat to try and get their attention.

You’ve never seen a room clear so fast…

A minute previous, they’d been arguing that they’d been on the front line looking out for all their people, one second after, the chamber was clear of everyone but me, Watch Commander Tarven, and Captain Ortren of the Queens guard.  Bright side up thought, it turns out that without politicians watching out for their own interests, you can get a lot done.  All overtime is hereby sanctioned, the mages guild have been paid off to provide all those magical anti virus helmets that were ordered by the council.

Don’t get your hopes up, they only ordered ten of them…

What good are ten masks I hear you say?  Well, the council numbers ten, so maybe they were valiantly testing them on our behalf… I’m not looking for comments, and I’m not giving any, we take what we can and we do what we can with it, masks will be here tomorrow.

In other news, word from Invicarn is that they may have found a test to show if you have the virus or not.  I’m going to hold fire on announcing that, as the last time I saw their test, it was sitting you in a room for a day and seeing if you coughed in that time.  One more thing, got a few questions on the council reports about what is or isn’t essential supplies, the questions came from the National Adventurers Association, so let me be clear in this.

Longswords are not essential items in these times, Magical trinkets are not essential in these times, and that shipment of dark fruit chocolate from the western continents is not, regrettably, an essential item.  Keep it simple everyone and just remember…

Let’s be careful out there…