Tuesday 13 December 2016

On the subject of friendships...


There's always a curiosity when someone unfriends you, that particular human need to go ask them why they no longer like you, what have you done to upset them, is there anything you can do to get their friendship back.

However, today I find myself in a different position...

Literally a different position, today I got my full range of movement back, I'm sitting (yep, actually sitting) typing this update with no pain at all, and as I looked over a list of people that have unfriended me in the last year, I thought for a second and came to the conclusion that I believe everyone in the world should do when someone unfriends them...

Their Loss...

Because I'm not a false friend, I don't have to make up opinions, I've already got them, and they're formed by being true to myself, not true to whatever is trendy at the moment.  I don't desert those who need me, I never back down when I believe I'm in the right although I will listen fairly to all other opinions and I'll consider them on their own merits. If you can bring your opinion to me with reason and consideration, I'll listen wholeheartedly and debate with you, even if, especially if I don't agree with you.

And you may not agree with me...

That's fine too, I don't need to agree with you to be your friend, in fact, some of the closest relationships I've got are with people I've argued my whole life with (With a big hi to my little brother there...), who also have strong opinions and will stand for them.

I'm a fierce friend, I treat everyone fair, I'll help everyone who needs help, I don't care the odds or the fight, when a friend needs me, I'm there.  I don't go looking for people to help anymore, and it took me a while to understand that, but now I wait for people to come to me if they need help, rather than offering to sort things out for them, because that never works out as well as you'd hope it would.

Damn all those 80's tv shows with proactive heroes...


Because in the 80's, a bad perm and worse shirt with no buttons could solve anything...
But here's the thing, I don't do drama, not anymore.  I used to, I knew a lot of people who made a staple diet out of it and spent my early years careering from one crisis to the next trying to sort things out, never realising that by sorting the problem out I was giving the person free reign to start another crisis.

Like trying to diet by only eating a few after eight mints every day, you'll feel great for those ten seconds or less, but then spend the rest of the time feeling s***.

And I'm done with that.

I'll fight the world for a good cause, and it won't concern me the odds or the fight I've chosen, if it's the right thing to do, I will not stand down.  Of course, if you're my friend and you're being an idiot, it's my duty as your friend to point out that you're being an idiot.

Because fighting for an idiotic cause isn't what friends do...

So to all those that have unfriended me, I don't understand why you have, and if you choose one day to come and tell me about it, I'll listen, and I'll happily debate with you, but you will not find me coming to you to ask why you chose to no longer be my friend.

Because it was your choice...

And I respect that...